The Positive Power of Expectation: Shifting Your Reality by Shifting Your Assumptions
Last night in Soul Medicine, we explored something that felt so simple yet so profound: the power of our expectations to shift and co-create our realities. We talked about how what we assume to be true about the world, our lives, and even ourselves can quietly shape everything we experience. And how we can play and use assumptions intentionally.
It’s something we often take for granted, the power of assumptions. We make assumptions about what’s possible, about what we’re capable of, about how things have to be or have to be done based on what we’ve been told or what we’ve seen in the past. But what if we allowed ourselves to play with those assumptions? To gently set them aside and experiment with new ways of thinking, feeling, and being? To test our own limits of belief. What if we surrendered our beliefs and opened ourselves up to ‘more’ than we believed or assumed to be possible?
This is where I’ve seen the Laws of Expectation and the Law of Surrender work together in the most beautiful ways. Expectation invites us to hold belief in what’s possible, while surrender invites us to let go and trust in how it unfolds. And when we play with both, something really magical happens. The universe surprises us.
What Are You Assuming?
One of the examples of assumption and expectation we explored last night was weight loss. So many of us have adapted the belief somewhere along the line that weight loss requires struggle—a calorie deficit, intense workouts, sacrifice. Science backs it, so we assume it’s the only way.
But what if, for just a little while, you let yourself imagine other possibilities? What if you said, “For the next month, I’m going to release that story. I’ll walk every day, drink plenty of water, and choose to believe that this alone is enough to lose that extra weight”?
When you soften your assumptions, you create space for the unexpected to happen. You allow your body, your intuition, and your energy (and even the universe) to show you something new. Maybe you’ll find a spark of inspiration to move in a way that feels fun and joyful. Maybe you’ll notice subtle shifts in how you crave and nourish your food. Maybe the biggest change will be how much lighter you feel emotionally when you let go of the weight of “should.”
What Are You Assuming About Love?
The same is true for relationships. We all carry stories about love. Maybe you’ve told yourself, “I’ll be ready to date when…” or “Dating is hard, and it never works out.” Those beliefs feel protective, but they also box you in, creating the exact reality you’re trying to avoid. Before I dated David, I had ALOT of assumptions about dating a single dad. I of course didn’t want anyone making assumptions about me (a single mom) but I had lots of them. I assumed it would be too complicated. I assumed we would struggle to find time for each other. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Our kids played together, playdates made it easy for us to spend time together. We were able to connect and relate on a level my prior child-less lovers and I could not. It was surprisingly easy. Sometimes, our assumptions are just so far off from the truth and we’re just keeping ourselves from surprisingly easy solutions.
What if you gave yourself permission to rewrite a love story you’ve been telling yourself that might just not be true? What if you assumed that dating or marriage or relationships could be fun, light, and filled with connection? What if you trusted that love would show up for you in the most unexpected, delightful ways?
By shifting your expectations, you shift your energy—and that’s when the universe really begins to surprise you.
What Are You Assuming About the Holidays?
This is one that comes up for me every year to take a good conscious look at. For so long, I carried heavy expectations about Christmas. Grief, stress, and overwhelm felt inevitable because that’s how it had been for so many years. Mommy passed on Christmas day, And so, that’s how I expected it to be and that’s how it kept showing up. Certainly I needed a few years to process that grief and take space for my healing… But after about 7 years I was ready to move forward and create a new experience.
Last year, I decided to try something different. I chose to expect joy. I imagined a holiday filled with warmth, nostalgia, and little traditions that would make my heart and my children’s hearts feel full. I expected ease, connection, and gratitude.
And something shifted. Our holiday became just that—sweet, light, and deeply meaningful. It wasn’t perfect, but it was exactly what I needed. This year, I’m carrying that same energy forward. Because what I learned is that when you rewrite your expectations and assumptions, you also rewrite your experience.
The Magic of Assumption
This is the beauty of assumption: it’s belief infused with energy and intention. It’s not about forcing outcomes or controlling the process. It’s choosing to open yourself up the possibility of ease, joy, flow and unexpected surprises —and then trusting the journey.
The key to this magic is to pair expectation with surrender. Let go of how it has to look, and stay open to what might unfold.
An Invitation to Play
If you know me, than you know I like to play and I like to explore curiosity. So taking these laws of assumption and expectation to heart, what if you gave yourself permission to experiment with this? Pick one area of your life—your health, your relationships, your career, or even this holiday season—and ask yourself:
• What if I assume this could be simpler, lighter, or more joyful than I’ve been imagining?
• What if I trust that ease and alignment will lead me exactly where I need to go?
For the next week, try setting your disbelief aside. Play with new assumptions and see what unfolds. Life has a way of meeting us where we are, and when we choose to expect good things, we invite them to show up.
What new story will you write for yourself today? Let’s dream it into being together.